No One’s Even Bleeding

A Novel by Lenny Castellaneta
ISBN # 1-59129-127-5
Published by Publish America
PO Box 151
Frederick MD 21705-0151
227 PP @ $19.95

 

It has been said that some men seek greatness, while others have greatness thrust upon them. I am here to offer up another option-Sometimes life happens while you are trying for greatness, and if it works out to be just what you should be doing anyway, that is pretty great too.

This is the story of Lenny, a man that wanted to be a writer of TV shows, and of him moving from Long Island to the warm climate of Los Angeles, giving himself five years to make it in show business. Before he knows it, he becomes a teacher in the L.A. school system, but not just any kind of teacher, no he becomes the best kind-a substitute teacher. You all remember substitute teachers don’t you-they were the ones that took the place of the regular teacher when they were sick or hung over or something. The ones that if you were lucky, came in on a test day, and didn’t know there was supposed to be one, or, if you were really lucky, believed you when you said that your regular teacher NEVER gave out homework. And if you were really really lucky, they would be young, neat and funny, and you would wish they would always be the teacher. I was never really really lucky. But if I had been, I would have wanted a teacher like Lenny.

I have to tell you that this book was perfect. It is not so much a novel as a series of vignettes, short stories of the misadventures that he goes through as he is trying to catch that lucky break. It feels like tales told by an old friend that you haven’t seen in awhile, and you want to catch up with what they have been doing. It is laugh out loud funny at times; at others, it made me go ‘awe’. In reading this, I could feel what he was going through. Who hasn’t had a dream they wanted so bad, yet was always just out of reach, and had to settle, then come to find out that settling isn’t so bad after all.
In this book, Mr. Castellaneta has done what many writers strive to do, yet few pull off, that of making you care. When he succeeds in something, you cheer right along with him, when he doesn’t, you feel his anguish. I had no idea the trials and tribulations of a substitute teacher could be so moving. And believe me, this book will move you.

How can I describe this book? Let me try this-take one part ‘Up the Down Staircase’, one part ‘Dangerous Minds’, throw in a heaping helping of ‘Welcome back Kotter’, and stir liberally with the knowing that this is a true story and you end up with something that will make anyone smile. He might not have ended up a writer for television, but he has ended up being one heck of a wordsmith in a book, and that is an accomplishment of which to be very proud. And you know one other thing he does that I like a lot? The title of the book is actually IN the book! It’s not some esoteric phrase; it’s actually in there. It’s little things like that I like so much, but hey, that’s just me.

This book has one of the highest recommendations that I can give, it is a perfectly crafted tale told with heart and humor. I hope this is just the first in a series, c’mon Lenny, there has to be more stories in you to tell...I’m waiting.